SAMO.O's RANDOMNESS

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2012-02-17T21:42:00.001+08:00

We may desire the ever presence of God, but we tend to end up living out our truth belief - the effervescence of God. LHM!~ Help us have You take center stage. No more fragmentation according to our own brokenness. Make us whole, to understand You wholesomely. LHM!~

VDay 2.14.2012

2012-02-14T23:59:00.003+08:00

TYL!~ what a delightful night! TYL!~

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2012-02-11T17:14:00.000+08:00

SAMUEL OO CHUIN MING! Get a grip! Stop wasting time! Man up, get over the inertia, seriously!!! LHM!~

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2012-02-11T15:30:00.000+08:00

Was 129.9. It's now 29.9 - a woven cardigan from Zara, now with me. Didn't think it was possible in Sg. Nonetheless. TYL!~ for the buy.

Power of Your Love

2012-02-05T23:59:00.000+08:00

By normal standard, they did not have the best voices. Nor was the piece sung in sync - the perfect harmony that we've come to expect and demand at a "presentation (concert)" setting. No, by our standard, it wasn't quite there.

Yet there was a very definite uplifting that happened. A sense of anointment, almost. Dare I even say: Blessed by the Spirit - voices that passed through a divine amplifier? I felt I was soaring indeed, and it was not because it was affective, not the kind of "goosebumps" when we usually emotionally sing this music, with the key change or mood build up. It was, as the name of the song book says, Doxa - Glory. The collective voice of the choir mainly made up of silvered haired grannies and granddaddies of Bethel Presbyterian Church Teochew service - Exousia - Power.

And I was moved for another reason.

In God's Kingdom, God indeed looks to the hearts of the people. He sees the beauty behind the wrinkles; He is not confounded by the sagging skin, knowing well that the superficial beauty that the human race is obsessed with and has devoted a gazillion amount of money and time and effort will pass on, but the love for God is the gold that shines into eternity. He is willing to bless through the unlikeliest sources, and He is willing to bless those who call on the name of the LORD for His sake. We move so quickly from one new item to another - replacing the functioning old for a supposedly more glittery new, a wasteful dispatching justified only in the terms of unfulfilled and insatiable desire of greed and vanity. Yet, in God's Kingdom, it is always as good as new - His people is the new Creation, an unending freshness - "very good" - of life. He does not toss away as we do. He is not a God who forsakes, for even in the midst of judgment against evil, there is already the plan for restoration to glory. No, God is ever faithful.

Power of Your love - I've heard it and sung it so many times, and never once, like this. I hope it will be a sacred moment etched into memory for a long time to come, if not, a lifetime. TYL!~ and PTL!~ You are worthy. Somehow, I believe I was afforded just a glimpse of how the King was there, enjoying the praises of His children, while a common response - in the name of "doing the best" and "technique" - may be for the Child(ren) Of God [COG] to critique the COG who have found favor in Father God's eyes.

LHM!~ Help me, Lord, to see as You see, and to hear as You hear. Love, by Your love. LHM!~

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2012-02-04T17:00:00.004+08:00

Clicks... ... ...and Set, for now. ITLW, we'll be tasting some authentic Pho come 28May-2June, plus the beach and mountain :) :) :) But most importantly, an endeavor TOGETHER for a good while to come. As quickly as it began, it is rounding up... And how God Lord has held us together. URGH. Farewell season has begun for me... EMO T.T. Friends are friends forever, if the Lord's the Lord of them. Having hope doesn't ease the 'pain of parting' though... EMO EMO EMO.

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2012-02-01T23:00:00.004+08:00

Yikes. It's already February. Where would I be this summer (and then... beyond), Lord? May I trust and obey. I'll stay tuned in.

AO2012.

2012-01-30T23:59:00.001+08:00

5hr 53min.
Two beasts playing a beauty.
Wow.

"It's just incredible effort. You're in pain, you're suffer(ing). You're trying to activate your legs. You're going through so much suffering your toes are bleeding. Everything is just outrageous, but you're still enjoying that pain," said Novak Djokovic
&
"Physically, it was the toughest match I've ever played. Something I really enjoy; I always said is good suffering. When you are with passion for the game, when you are ready to compete, you are able to suffer and enjoy suffering, no?"said Rafael Nadal.

That's a good take on suffering and how to suffer in joy. And quite the embodiment of "when there's a will, there's a way." Now back to my own... good suffering :) It is indeed a blessing :)

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2012-01-29T20:00:00.003+08:00

TYF!~ for the two gifts. Never thought I would possess any, but to only look at and admire the many, but now two pieces rest well in the wardrobe :D TYL!~ for the two gifts.

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2012-01-29T19:37:00.013+08:00

Very WICKED indeed - wickedly melodious, wickedly set, wickedly thoughtful. Will look forward to being served another round of "wickedness!!!" TYL!~ for a good two/two.5 hours of solid good time with two good friends - and to God, "... ... ...Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew You, I have been changed for good. (broadway/ lyrics/ glee on broadway)" TYL!~

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2012-01-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

It's going to be a once in a lifetime experience - literally once in this lifetime, I think. I doubt I will make a return trip back to the JPO, at least not by my initiation, but it's fine as a singular event. But maybe it was fine only because I was hanging with friends... hmmm~ I'm just too pampered by the American versions :) ;) :)

幽默中之箴言。

2012-01-26T23:34:00.003+08:00

長者說：“人家把熱馬鈴薯(hot potato)拋過來，你就打開冰箱把它接過來。收多了，就可以做菜。”
長者又說：“教會裡的那把螺絲，就算再難看，也沒有人會敢把它拔出來，因為拔了，麻煩就來了。”
長者且說：“回過頭來，還是相信神吧。事情會帶出想法，想法會帶出決定。”

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2012-01-26T16:04:00.000+08:00

Watching WICKED this Sunday. Matinee. Wicked!~ 128... ouch; but for seats of 145... a decent deal? And with BKSySJSy... priceless :) That's my justification by... cost. Sorry papamama o.O, the first wicked experience will not be with you... hopefully there will be a next wicked co.Olness :)

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2012-01-24T23:28:00.006+08:00

While I sit by desk, desperately trying to finish a mountain of readings that I am finding impossible to finish unless I drop my current fitness and sleep routine which would leave me less pumped to finish the mountain of readings (such a lose-lose situation), my roomie is playing video games and watching movies...! This is the difference in the life of a SOTE-er and a SOTC-er. But just as I was about to go on my "This is so unfair" tirade again, a simple question came into mind: Which, in the end, might be a better, more beneficial use of your time?! Out of which may you be getting more blessings?! Being ministered to by Eugene Peterson (reading his memoir The Pastor), or killing off a load of virtual enemies - with both a strain on the mind and the eyes? While it sounds like there is a judgment made against video games as "unspiritual," and it might as well be, I sure am afforded a new perspective on the work I have on hand to finish, as impossible to finish without "something giving" as it is... ... ...

Artsy in Sg on 1.15...

2012-01-24T15:00:00.003+08:00

Perfection for one comes at the expense of a hefty price paid by others, but we do not see it. No, we are simply blind to it.

Worship of empty offering. Yikes! I am an idolator!

Glow

Glare.

The arts invite you to live in it... Well, I sure am living it! Am I now an art?!

Being restored, or being destroyed...?

Assisting or assaulting...?!

Did I just insult the integrity and solemnity of this sculpture?! But... it's just so cute! It's hard to link up "cute" and "solemnity" :P

A saturation that draws fascination.

Ha. Scandalous!

Classic collage.

Sometimes, blankness is all it takes to say it all.

Le 2 artistes - ms. EYip & mdm. CWong

Will this become an exhibit of some meaning, some time in the future...? Or is it already, art?!

ps: the event has quite an unfortunate acronym of A.S.S. - Art Stage Singapore. But again, (in the arts), it could very be regarded as, "That's cool! Changing something so jarring into something so starry, something so crude into something so astute" mm-hmmm!~

Beauty in Flight. 翱翔中的美。

2012-01-24T14:50:00.000+08:00

TYL!~ for yet another chance to see the beauty of this world that You've made - "This is my Father's world, and to my listening ears all nature sings, and round me rings the music of the spheres" 感謝主！～再次給予機會能夠看到你所造之世界的綺麗 - “這是天父世界，我們側耳靜聽，宇宙歡唱，四圍響應，星辰作樂同聲”

Beauty in flight, over Ohio, Minnesota, Alaska and the Pacific Ocean... 于俄亥俄、明尼蘇達、阿拉斯加和太平洋之上，翱翔中的美...

Old&New. 舊與新。

2012-01-24T14:44:00.000+08:00

Monkey and his old toy... 小猴兒與他的舊玩具...

Monkey and his new toy... 小猴兒與他的新玩具...

TYL!~ for the pressie... 感謝主！～有這麼一個禮物...

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2012-01-24T14:34:00.000+08:00

While screening through the scene of a design award on my screen, I wondered preliminarily: For all who do the arts, how can anyone not believe in God, being so close to the one who granted beauty through His creative nature? But yet, with the force that has caused the arts of today to flourish, and what makes the arts interesting, how can one comfortably and faithfully believe in God yet flourish?! But it is not so black and white, is it?

2.5 + 1

2012-01-21T11:11:00.003+08:00

1.6.2012 was the start of the last semester of the last year of the MDivBS program.

It has been 2.5years and 1month of abundance - abundance in laughter and tears, in peace and anger, in happiness and sorrow - simply abundance. There were the times I had to borrow $$$, there were the times when I could lend/give out $$$. There were the times I was the recipient of lavish gifts, there were the times I was the giver of simply gifts. I had people who were my trash cans and sounding boards, and I was to some people their trash cans and sounding boards. Abundance - it's joy and blessings all around.

And the song that God gifted to me as an anthem, if you would have it, for this journey (and beyond) - How Can I Keep From Singing - comes ringing through still, though in lesser frequency than when I first left Cbus on 6.6.2009. Again, wow, it's been 31mths already. *Hmmm~ 31... I am 31 :P*

Three times it came, over three consecutive days, at three different places, with three different groups of people, through three different mediums.

The first time: Fri, 6.5.2009. The children sang a chorale version of it. A surprise for their "uncle-esque" big, big brother on the eve of his departure. It was the first time I've heard of the song, and it would not be the last. "Come over to the next room when you are done with the refreshment, okay?" was the invitation. To the the children such as these belong the Kingdom. Knowingly or not, they became God's messengers to minister to His child on the eve of the journey toward SBC... ... ... And they had to sing it twice; the second, so that their good work can be videoed onto memory lane.

The second time: Sat, 6.6.2009. Through the air waves, as I drove my lovely white Camry for one last time toward the airport. For all the days I've been in that car prior, and for the times I was listening to the radio, never did I hear this song. And there it was, clear as the sun-drenched dew, playing over the speakers, Chris Tomlin's voice. "Oh!? This is the song the children sang last night!" I recall telling my parents in amazement. And I was kept smiling, the wish I have for my departure into the "unknown," but one held in the hollow of God's hands.

The third time: Sun, 6.7.2009. Since I was in CA, I thought it a good idea to visit Saddleback Church, to finally see what this famed part of the Christian body is like. Chia and I bought ourselves some good bread from 89度C, and went. Lo and behold, the now familiar tune sounded as the last song of the praise worship. "Hey! This is the song I was telling you about!" I exclaimed. "Wow. The third time, huh?! It is something..." responded Chia.

Yes, the third time - it was on the third time that little Samuel responded, "Speak, for Your servant is listening." ...1 Sam 3: 10 NASB; three times, the Lord was tempted; three times, Peter had to say, "Yes, Lord. You know I love you" ...Jn 21: 15-17 NASB. There is often "something" in the trilogy, the repetition, to add a certain... emphasis. And I know I teared up, when that one line became so loud and clear - I know I am loved by the King. Indeed, "If God is for us, who is against us?" ...Rom 8: 31 NASB.

In the end, the song is not just for me. In fact, the song is for all who believe, to be reminded that our faith in God would and should birth ceaseless praise - praise that arises because God is God. Should a man rescued from a raging tempest cease to celebrate a life that was thought to lost? And the song is for all who believe or seeking to believe, to be encouraged that our faith - the Christian faith - is grounded in a solid Being, one that leaves nothing to chance and probability, but a will that will be done.

Nor is the story is just about me. True, it is one that I believe, or at least hope, will sustain me for a long time to come. For time and time again, when I lost my heart of gratitude, or the solitude in Him, "how can you keep from singing" comes tickling at my soul. And yes, when I forget the days that God has sounded His presence so astonishingly, or when the story of His guidance is muddied, the instrument that I am stops to sound. Equally important is this story for those who surrounded me with their cares and concerns, that they are also to be comforted, given the assurance that God is present. And Immanuel is indeed the foremost importance of this story, for we are all somehow webbed together, at different times and places and through ways we did not even know "worked," and "worked" they can because "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" ...Rom 8: 28 NASB. We again can only be awe-struck by how God would pull the strings together, to establish the tapestry of His Kingdom.

And as I wonder about what is in store next post the pending graduation, I have to know this:
The life in God is filled with surprises. But why be surprised? Only if we have not fully grasped how God is good and desires only good for us - the mountains and valleys and plains have to all come together to form the magnificent landscape we witness on earth, so it is for our souls. He will take us through them all, so come prepared, not just with gears that we think may help us, but really, the willingness and courage to simply hold His outheld hands.

So, sing out, for we can sing, for -

There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And fall down again
I can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart ...want to sing

I can sing.

TYL!~ Bless You, God. PTL!~ LHM!~
ps: while not exactly the song "given," equally moving is the hymnal version - music & lyrics
pps: hahaha, I finally wrote this entry, after 31months o.O''' speak about procrastination!? :P Or should I say, I was waiting for it to be time-tested :P nonetheless, may You/you be blessed...

水平線上的六十。

2012-01-20T00:27:00.006+08:00

2011年紐約行最珍愛的相片之一... 攝於高架鐵線公園

使徒彼得寫說，“你們不要以外面的辮頭髮，戴金飾，穿美衣為妝飾，只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾；這在神面前是極寶貴的。因為古時仰賴神的聖潔婦人正是以此為妝飾，順服自己的丈夫，就如撒拉聽從亞伯拉罕，稱他為主。你們若行善，不因恐嚇而害怕，便是撒拉的女兒了。” ...彼前3：3-6 和合本。

或許這張照片很搶眼，不是因為有紐約大都會的脈搏跳動，也不是因為有Uniqlo+Old Navy布料的包裝，而是神親手所造的面容所散發出某種的生命感 - 一個知道自身的軟弱，卻願意持久仰望上帝的生命。愛神的人，擁有神的形象。而屬神形象的榮光，則從我們的面容所體現。外，是由內而生。這裡的(治)美，不用化妝，不用點綴，只需與神連結的內在蛻變，一切更新。或許嘴角微微的笑容，展現的正是更新、蛻變後的“長久溫柔、安靜的心”。

媽媽，感謝神，妳是他寶貝的女兒，在世是神差派祝福眾人的侍+使女。在此時，祝您生日蒙大恩！永生美麗！

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2012-01-19T01:36:00.001+08:00

I already have 24 bottles of Chicken of Essence ready to be drunk this early in the sem... ... ...What does that mean?! orz orz orz 興奮之際也可感到絲絲倦意。ooo~ 倦意之下竟仍有壓韻之朝氣 :P

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2012-01-13T07:07:00.003+08:00

Just like that. On Friday the thirteenth, tt's the first day of another good week under my good Lord. orz. Time is zipping by... ... ...

Fierce.

2012-01-11T23:59:00.002+08:00

(this afternoon... in the bookstore...)
sAMo.O: Smell this (sample card)...
BTsao: Wah, fierce.
sAMo.O: Wah, you know the smell?
BTsao: No, I just thought it smells strong.
sAMo.O: Ohhh~ I thought you knew. The fragrance is called Fierce, and is A&F's signature fragrance.

Ha. Win.

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2012-01-11T21:07:00.001+08:00

With a schedule like this for the last semester, it will be great if I could even record 10 blog entries a month. I'll have to be ultra disciplined! WOW. Going out truly with a bang, ITLW! And how ironic, the guy - me - on the single track, to preach a sermon for a wedding o.O''' Win. PTL!~ just a 5% jet lag... if not, ho ho ho~

11-730.

2012-01-07T16:44:00.001+08:00

That's how long I slept - 11pm last night to 730am this morning. TYL!~ Now we shall see if this is the sign that "divine work" is at play on lessening the jet lag through watching 8 movies on the way back (with little short naps in between some) and a full day of "stuff" since landing on Sg... TYL!~ nonetheless, for the safe journey back, for showing the wonders of the world You created - the snow-clad Alaskan land, the sun setting behind the silhouette of Mt. Fuji with the waves lapping upon the Tokyo beaches, the fascinating cloud formation all throughout the flights. TYL!~ for not letting me miss the flight from Narita :) TYL!~ Now let's get ready for the new sem.! I'm kinda excited about it, actually, surprisingly. It will be another time to experience deeply God's grace and presence... :)

For now, it's settling in... slowly...

Home'11: Here.

2012-01-02T08:00:00.003+08:00

Winter finally arrived = COLD AIR + SNOW ACCUMULATION!!! = a fine farewell "gift" from above... on the second day of 2012 = the second last day sAMo.O is in Cbus... for now :) TYL!~

“跟了” 的根。

2012-01-01T11:40:00.001+08:00

弟兄姐妹們，早安。
我先在這裡祝賀大家新年蒙神厚恩，並更緊密的跟隨主耶穌基督。

讓我們一同來禱告。
親愛的天父，感謝你，因為有你的奇異恩典，世界的根基立定，我們的生命也得拯救，在基督裡有永恆的保障。神啊，你召我們出黑暗入光明，正是要我們能夠更深切的跟隨愛我們的神，看守我們的神。在今早，當我們思考你的話語時，只願我們的心能夠安定，不被生命中繁瑣的事物所攪擾。請求聖靈動工，讓我們的心能向真理敞開，讓我們在新年的開始，能再度審核我們基督徒所當有的心態和行為。求神幫助我們不作白費你恩典的子民。我們如此祈求，乃奉靠主耶穌的聖名祈求，阿門。

（引言：兩位領導。）

阿甘正傳

“耶穌來了！耶穌來了！那個滿是奇妙教導和奇妙能力的來了！看吶，有這麼多的人跟了他，我也加入吧！”
當我們讀到路14：25-35的開場，我們是否幾乎看到了那時場面的熱鬧？
有沒有感受到一種興奮的感覺，或說聽到人群中傳出來的喧嘩？
就有這麼一個人，“有極多的人”尾隨他，與他同行。（14：25）
耶穌基督，縱然外貌平凡，想必仍在周遭產生了不少的轟動。

這讓我想起了這麼一個叫做阿甘（Forrest Gump）的人。
他有一天突然想跑，就穿上了球鞋，從他家的前院，開始跑。
跑啊，跑；跑啊，跑；跑啊，跑。
他用跑的，橫跨了美國好幾趟，穿越了草原、橋樑、山崗、海岸。
就連媒體也開始注意到他，播報他這“跑啊，跑”的新聞。
不久，有許多的人也隨他穿越了草原、橋樑、山崗、海岸。
阿甘先生說：“我有伴了！”
但有一天，在沙漠的一條高速路上，阿甘停了下來，轉過身來，對跟隨他的一群人說，：“我累了。我想，我要回家了。”
在阿甘從這群人中間走過時，有人問說，“那，我們現在該怎麼辦呢？”
這突如其來的改變，讓這群人不知所措。
這些時日，阿甘一直是他們的鼓勵 – 一位給他們生命中有希望和意義的人。
所以他們才要跟著他啊！
但現在他竟然要“調頭就走，打包回府”？
這群人放下了一切，最終卻只是跟上了一位只為想跑而跑、毫無更大宏願的人。
他們的生命，頓時撲了個空。

一語驚人

讓我們把我們的焦點，從美國的領土轉移到前往耶路撒冷的一條巴勒斯坦路上。
同樣的，有一群的人尾隨著一個人。
而這人，同樣的，轉過身來，並對跟隨他的人說話。

“26 人到我這裡來，若不愛我勝過愛（愛我勝過愛：原文是恨）自己的父母、妻子、兒女、弟兄、姐妹，和自己的性命，就不能作我的門徒。

27 凡不背著自己十字架跟從我的，也不能作我的門徒。

28 你們那一個要蓋一座樓，不先坐下算計花費，能蓋成不能呢？

29 恐怕安了地基，不能成功，看見的人都笑話他，說：

30 這個人開了工，卻不能完工。

31 或是一個王出去和別的王打仗，豈不先坐下酌量，能用一萬兵去敵那領二萬兵來攻打他的麼？

32 若是不能，就趁敵人還遠的時候，派使者去求和息的條款。

33 這樣，你們無論甚麼人，若不撇下一切所有的，就不能作我的門徒。

34 鹽本是好的；鹽若失了味，可用甚麼叫他再鹹呢？

35 或用在田裡，或堆在糞裡，都不合式，只好丟在外面。有耳可聽的，就應當聽！”

耶穌當時所說的，令人震驚。
直到今天，仍是叫人稱奇。
耶穌說到三個“不能”和兩個“不先（或是豈不先）”。
今早想和大家一起思考的，就是這三個“不能”和兩個“不先”。

（段落 1a：25-27節 – 作主門徒代價高。）

此關係

如果要有“開門見山、一針見血”的例子，主耶穌對“做門徒”這碼事的說明就再適當不過了。

“26 人到我這裡來，若不愛我勝過愛（愛我勝過愛：原文是恨）自己的父母、妻子、兒女、弟兄、姐妹，和自己的性命，就不能作我的門徒。”

這是沒有經過任何包裝的一句話。
到主耶穌那裡 – 不只是步行（走路）上的表現而已。
到主耶穌那裡 – 涵括了“效法”的意義。
跟隨主耶穌，不只是對主耶穌一種情感或情緒上的依附。
跟隨主耶穌，更是與主耶穌建立一種有理智、有意義的一種關係。

阿甘先生完全沒有要與他的跟隨者建立深厚關係的意思，所以他可以輕易的棄他們於不顧。
但是主耶穌不是如此。
在對“作我的門徒”的合約上，耶穌清楚的表明，作為“我的門徒”，也就是“我的效仿者”，也就要“與我有親密的關係。” –
一種全然投身的親密關係。
主耶穌清楚的表明，這關係是比我們在世的任何一種親密的關係來的更加的親密。

那關係

我們的和合本翻譯已經對主耶穌原本的表達作出詮釋。
當主耶穌說：“若不愛我勝過愛某某”的時候，其中的“愛我勝過愛”，其實是“恨”。
主耶穌已經清清楚楚的教導我們要愛我們的仇敵，更何況是我們身邊的親友們。
所以這裡的“恨”，並不是我們平日所想對他人的負面情緒。
對於主耶穌當時的跟隨者，他們可以清楚的明白，“恨”是一種以誇大手法來作比較的形容詞。
也就是說，“恨”一個東西也就是看那一個東西相對的不重要。
所以主耶穌對於“作我的門徒”的開場白，就已經把作門徒的代價的焦點放在“關係”這個根基上。
父母、妻子、兒女、弟兄、姐妹，和自己的性命 – 這不都是我們所牽掛的嗎？
來到作門徒的重心，主耶穌一點不扭捏，實在的把我們與他的關係和我們生命中最重要的關係作出一個強烈的對比。
弟兄姐妹們，若是血濃於水，我們與主耶穌的關係要更加的濃。
若是友情穩如泰山，我們與主耶穌的關係要更加的穩。
若是虎毒不食子，我們與主耶穌的關係更要以對他的愛為連結。

有關係

同時，“到我這裡來”的“到”，指明一個門徒的參與度，而且是一種積極的參與。
門徒所要積極參與的，就是與主耶穌建立一個重要、親密的關係。
而主耶穌所說的“不能”，在原來的表達上，指的不是“不能夠”，而是“沒有這樣的能力”。
也就是說，耶穌要告訴跟隨他的人，“你們若要作我的門徒，若要與我有關係，你們就要有這樣的能力去行出我叫你們應當行出的。”

蘋果電腦公司所出產的iPhone系列，擄掠了世界千萬人的心。
每當新的一代iPhone準備開始對外銷售時，總是會刮起一陣購物旋風。
那些最“忠誠”的蘋果迷可以露宿街頭，或是在長長的人龍中等上幾個鐘頭，就為了能夠擁有這麼一件“寶貴”的電子產品。
而我記得我小時後，叫我起床去上課是難上加難的苦差事。
但只要一來到遠足，我可以非常準時的準備好，等著“上學”去。
作為父母的，通常會“望子成龍，望女成鳳”。
許多的父母願意擺上所有的精力和時間，省吃儉用，也就為了子女的將來，能夠光明一片。
作為學生或工作者，我們是可以日以繼夜、拼了老命，爭取漂亮的成績單，或升職的機會。
很多時候，不是我們不能/ 沒有能力，而是我們不要、或不重視。

主耶穌也說：“你們的財寶在哪裡，你們的心也在哪裡。”（路12：34）
如果來到這一切將要過去的身外物，或是會衰敗的事物上，我們能付諸積極的行動，來到與我們的救主的寶貴關係，我們有能力說：“你在等我一下啊”嗎？
來到主耶穌所對跟隨他的人所說的第一個“不能”，我們真的要審核：
我們與主耶穌的關係，是否是我們心中的第一寶藏呢？
弟兄姐妹們，希望我們能夠時刻謹記：若我們要實實在在的作主的門徒，與耶穌的關係就要是我們最為看重、最為疼愛的關係。
這是耶穌親口立定的。

不折不扣

耶穌也說了第二個“不能”。

“27 凡不背著自己十字架跟從我的，也不能作我的門徒。”

這對當時的群眾的震撼，我們可能無法了解。
“十字架”在我們的耳裡，已經成為神拯救大功的榮耀象徵，是基督教的專屬代表。
但對活在羅馬帝國統治下的人們，“十字架”所代表的，是公共性的羞辱、排斥和殘酷的死亡。（類比華人的“浸豬籠”）
作為主耶穌的門徒，除了關係先後次序上的調整外，還要能夠承受羞辱、排斥和可能臨至的殘酷死亡。
耶穌向眾人宣告：相信我，並作我的門徒，絕對不是輕鬆討個好福分的事。
要作主的門徒，就是把自己全然的擺上、委身了。

我剛開始讀神學的時候，有一段對“自我介紹”的掙扎。
當我的朋友問我：“咦，你回來新加坡是幹嘛呀？”，或有生人問我：“你現在是什麼職業？”，我起先會有些猶豫。
我會傾向與“我是學生”的答案，而不是說“我是個神學生。”
難道我真的是想要對對方的宗教立場保持一種尊敬的態度，還是我不想要聽到對方差異的“喔？”，然後是突然無話可說的尷尬？
很多時候，我是想要迴避尷尬，甚至是可能出現“哇！你是聖人”的這種調侃。
但神恩待，讓我逐漸走出這段“神學生身份”的挑戰。
但我仍然被提醒著：Samuel，這樣的處境，你都躊躇了。完完全全背起十字架，你還有許多可進步的空間啊。

我們在美國的生活安逸，很難身臨其境去思考“逼迫”這個話題，更不用說被殺害了。
我們可以聽到人說“卡在交通”或“在餐館等位子”或“Black Friday沒搶到便宜貨”是生命中的大苦難。
身為主的門徒，我們不能對“自己的十字架”有如此天真的遐想。
我們則是要問：我們的全人會因為我們的信念而受波及嗎？
我曾經在公司中，被同事嘲笑說：“那你不如就去向你的神禱告算了。”
感覺是不好受，但我們仍是要問：
我們有為了少一些家人朋友的嘲笑或排擠而對我們基督徒的身份作出讓步嗎？
（感謝神，有位同事如今也成了向神禱告的基督徒）

作主的門徒，代價是高的。
但主也有應許：“10 為義受逼迫的人有福了！因為天國是他們的。11 人若因我辱罵你們，逼迫你們，捏造各樣壞話毀謗你們，你們就有福了！
12 應當歡喜快樂，因為你們在天上的賞賜是大的。在你們以前的先知，人也是這樣逼迫他們。”（太5：10）

（段落2：28-32節 – 作主門徒需強烈委身、全然降伏。）

從28-32節，耶穌用了兩個比喻來指示群眾 –
來到作主的門徒，人人需要精打細算。
也就是說，作出正確的衡量，三思而後行。
有趣的是，主耶穌雖然是向眾人發問，但兩次的“不先怎樣怎樣… 嗎？”的問句，其實也就是“當然啦”的表達。
同時，每一次的計算，都是有“坐下”的動作，也代表著最後的決定，並不草率。

危樓嗎？

第一個比喻說到建樓的工程。
主耶穌所講的“樓”並不是軍事圍牆的高塔，而是跟隨他群眾所熟悉的葡萄園裡的觀望台。
這觀望台是有眼可見的，是一個非常凸顯的建構。
所以如果要把它建好，一定要在事先有十足的準備，否則建不成，就會成為笑柄了。

“30 這個人開了工，卻不能完工。”

年輕的一代會說：窘了。

我們有了擴堂的經驗，就知道“精打細算”的重要性。
我們確實是擺上了信心，但並不表示我們是盲目的擺上了信心，而是清楚我們為上帝所賜管家的職分，作出盤算，確保這樣大的工程，最終能夠帶給神榮耀。
感謝主，我們最終能在這個社區中建立眾人所能見、所能聚集的會所。

（或殺價買包沒現金的故事）
不久前，我和一些朋友一起去吃頓晚餐。
其中的兩位事前私底下決定要請我吃頓好的，說是回報我以前所對他們的恩。
他們的好意，實在令我感動。
只是不湊巧，當賬單送來時，他們兩人的荷包沒有足夠的現金付賬，信用卡又偏偏刷爆了。
雖然我最後還是出了點錢，但還算是被請上了。
這一次的請客，仍是歡喜收場。
可是我告訴他們說，“唉，你們的愛心計劃是有那麼一點失敗。”

弟兄姐妹們，來到作主的門徒，我們可是要費上心思，仔細斟酌，好叫我們最終活出的，不是半途而廢的新生命，而是眾人所能見證的委身。

自知之明

第二個比喻，是一場的軍事策略。
雖然我們對斯巴達（Spartacus）三百戰士勇敢對抗波斯大軍的故事津津樂道，並可能覺得一萬兵對兩萬兵的人海戰術不一定會輸，但在這裡，耶穌使用“一萬兵對兩萬兵”作為一種“穩輸”的形容。
再一次，主耶穌要跟隨他的門徒作出正確的衡量，三思而後行。
作主耶穌的門徒，並不是兒戲，不是好玩的辦家家酒。
我們的罪，碰上了神的聖潔，是沒有勝算的。
我們的軟弱，碰上了神的大能，同樣是勝算歸零。
所以，我們若是費上心思，仔細斟酌，我們照理就會活出一個自動自發、完全降伏在主耶穌權柄之下的生命。

請儘早回复

在這裡，我想鼓勵大家不要忘了大筵席的比喻。（路14：15-24）
這是主耶穌對如何做門徒的宣告的引言。
耶穌仔細的說明拒絕參加這場盛宴的荒謬之處。
難道你就真的為了田地或牛或婚姻放棄了盛宴？
我們今天的用語，或許會說：“開啥玩笑？”
尤其是因為這些婉拒邀請的原因，耶穌講明，都是“藉口”。（路14：18）
是他們的心不願意。
我們所作出的一個決定，有它的後果。
顯而易見的，拒絕參加天國的筵席是一個絕對性的失算。
我們不應該以上好的禮物換得劣等的禮物。

來到作主耶穌的門徒，我們難道不會悉心斟酌嗎？

（段落 1b：33節 – 作主門徒代價高。）

說完了這兩個比喻，主耶穌立下了第三個“不能”。

“33 這樣，你們無論甚麼人，若不撇下一切所有的，就不能作我的門徒。”

空也是得

從之前所講到的兩個“不能”，我們可以知道作主耶穌的門徒的代價是高的。
來到這第三個“不能”，簡直是叫人吃不消。
但主耶穌要他的門徒再次認定他們與主的關係的重要性。
主耶穌要他的門徒清楚的了解，在他們的盤算中，他們要有能力與他們所擁有的斷絕關係，縱然這些東西是花上不少時間、精力和金錢所得來的。
對於與耶穌同行的群眾來說，這又是一個難以想像的情況。
在猶太人的觀點中，家道豐富是上帝賜福的證明。
一個貧窮的人是被視為神所詛咒的人。
而作主的門徒，竟然是要“撇下一切所有的”。
既然是自己撇下，讓自己兩袋空空，也就是自己放棄在社會中的地位。
在這裡，主耶穌第三次表明：和他的關係，更勝豐富的財產，或是社會的地位；就算是被鄙視，也是值得的。
使徒彼得如果今天在場，他會作這樣的見證，因為他放下了他的漁網和漁船，跟隨耶穌。
使徒馬太如果今天在場，他會作相同的見證，因為他離開了他豐潤的收稅行業，跟隨耶穌。

這對我們是一個震撼的提醒，尤其是在物質富饒的美國：
賺得了全世界的富裕和名聲，卻沒有得著耶穌基督，是一次絕對性的失算。
賺得了全世界的富裕和名聲，卻沒有得著耶穌基督，是一次絕對性的失算。

在我們裡頭，多少會有馬太福音19章所記載的富有少年人的影子。
他選擇了他的財富，放棄了與耶穌建立關係的機會。
我們呢？
在我們享受上帝所賜福的一切豐盛的同時，我們有沒有“撇下一切”的志向和決心呢？
使徒保羅這麼寫：“12 我知道怎樣處卑賤，也知道怎樣處豐富；或飽足，或飢餓；或有餘，或缺乏，隨事隨在，我都得了祕訣。13 我靠著那加給我力量的，凡事都能做。”（腓4：12-13）
保羅的知足，來自他和主的親密關係，使得他能夠凌駕在物質的控制之上。
他因為已經有了耶穌基督，他有那能力，撇下一切，跟隨耶穌，作主的門徒。

這是主耶穌向我們發出的第三次呼籲：身為我的門徒，你愛我比愛這些更深嗎？（cf. 約21：15）

若你還沒有相信主耶穌基督，希望在你的心裡會開始盤算：
相信了耶穌的代價聽起來很高，但耶穌很清楚的表明，不相信他的代價更高。
沒有了和他的關係，將會是你人生中最大的損失。
這不是一個恐嚇，乃是發自神對人的愛的呼喚。
上帝愛人，要人藉由相信耶穌而得到豐盛的生命，雖然付上跟隨的代價，卻得到永遠的福氣和喜樂。
我們若放棄了和神建立關係的機會，將會得不償失。

（段落 3：做主門徒的代價，正因為耶穌自己。）

老師的恨

我親眼見到一位備受敬愛的老師在台上講道時突然百感交集，頓時間留下了男兒淚。
他因為神呼召他從美國到新加坡服侍，必須留下他逐日年老的父親。
也因為這樣的決定，讓他飽受親友的抨擊，同時要撇下他所熱愛和熟悉的，好面對陌生且不一樣環境和文化。
他為了跟隨主耶穌，就必須“恨”他人際和物質上的關係。

是的，跟隨主耶穌的代價是高的。
但當我們決定跟隨主耶穌的時候，正如我的這位老師，我們這樣的決定更顯明跟隨主的行動是何等可貴的。
使徒保羅這麼寫著：“8 不但如此，我也將萬事當作有損的，因我以認識我主基督耶穌為至寶。我為他已經丟棄萬事，看作糞土，為要得著基督；9 並且得以在他裡面，不是有自己因律法而得的義，乃是有信基督的義，就是因信神而來的義，10 使我認識基督，曉得他復活的大能，並且曉得和他一同受苦，效法他的死，11 或者我也得以從死裡復活。”（腓3：8-11）
這是一種破釜沉舟的決心，因為他知道他在基督裡所得著的，包括了苦難和死亡，都是最美好的。

主的榜樣

最終，跟隨主耶穌，也就是將我們的全人以基督作為楷模。
不單是效法他，而是真實的體現出主耶穌自己，讓人知道他是“何方神聖”。
作主的門徒，是要讓人清楚的看到一位把父神的工作放在首位，所以背起了十字架、離開了天上榮華的救主。
使徒保羅提醒腓利比教會：5 你們當以基督耶穌的心為心：6 他本有神的形像，不以自己與神同等為強奪的；7 反倒虛己，取了奴僕的形像，成為人的樣式；8 既有人的樣子，就自己卑微，存心順服，以至於死，且死在十字架上。（腓2：5-8）
這是一種慘不忍睹，叫人毛骨悚然的死亡，充滿這羞辱，為了是讓我們能夠知道神的大愛，並且讓我們能夠有新的生命，一個不會朽壞的生命。
主耶穌倒空了他自己，為了得著我們的生命，不至在永恆中滅亡，反而能再次有神聖的上帝的同在。
作主門徒的代價是高，但救贖的代價更高。
作門徒之所以會有如此高的代價，正因為主耶穌他自己。
我再次重申：作門徒之所以會有如此高的代價，正因為主耶穌他自己。

不管我們已經相信了，還是在尋找當中，我們要問的是：你和我清楚知道耶穌是誰嗎？
而我們最後一次在我們的言語和行動中展現出主耶穌值得我們付代價又是什麼時候呢？

（總結：34-35節 – 最後的挑戰。）

薄利多銷

感覺上，今年的大促銷比往年更癲狂。
商家似乎是以“薄利多銷”作為賺錢的策略。
聖誕節一過，好多商品都是打折再打折，價錢扣了再扣，吸引顧客。
作為消費者，也常常就拜倒在“便宜到不得不買；不買就太對不起自己了”的處境。
而我們的主耶穌，則是把作門徒的“原價”清楚的告訴眾人，不折不扣，沒有任何行銷或小字等的小把戲。
主耶穌要吸引的人，是真正願意付代價、不貪圖小便宜的門徒。

原味

在這“原價”的宣告中，主耶穌給了門徒一個嚴厲的告誡：

“34 鹽本是好的；鹽若失了味，可用甚麼叫他再鹹呢？35 或用在田裡，或堆在糞裡，都不合式，只好丟在外面。”

身為門徒，我們是世上的鹽。（cf. 太5：13）
也因為耶穌是如此說，我們就必須活出我們的“鹹味”來。
正如橡皮筋沒有了彈性，只有被丟棄的份，沒有了鹹味的鹽，“只好丟在外面。”
弟兄姐妹們，主耶穌在這裡是叫我們知道，沒有了門徒生命的門徒，是一個極度可悲的光景 – 連堆在糞裡都不合式。

我們來到主這裡，可能為的是自己內心的安寧，或是尋求自己的傷痛得醫治，或是能夠有神所賜下的祝福。
作主的門徒可能完全出自於你我所能在和耶穌的關係中得到的益處。
但主耶穌不斷的提醒我們：和他建立關係，焦點在他。
我們“跟了”主耶穌的根基，紮紮實實的是耶穌自己。
我們也要認清我們可能因為跟隨主而失去的。
我們更是有職責要展現出主耶穌是誰。
作為門徒，主耶穌要我們首先為了他的緣故，完全降伏，並且能夠撇棄一切。
試問：我們的鹹味，還在嗎？
他人又是如何實在的體會到我們的鹹味呢？

隨著2012年的開始，但願我們能夠再次認清如何才是作主的門徒，讓耶穌基督掌管我們的心思。
也但願我們學習關愛鄰舍，見證福音時，是用真實的門徒見證，愛鄰舍、傳福音。

有耳可聽的，就應當聽。

讓我們低頭禱告。
父上帝，感謝神，讓我們能夠有機會和能力，一生跟隨主，侍奉主，愛主。你所托付我們的重任，但願有你的靈不斷地教導我們，催逼我們，免得我們懶散，徒受在基督裡的救恩。幫助我們，以感恩的心，活出門徒的生命，引人歸向你。如此禱告，奉耶穌的聖名求，阿門。

The List. 單。

2011-12-31T23:59:00.002+08:00

*FED and FATTENED. Done. Finito :) :) :)*

A list of yummies I would like to taste ...to be completed as the days go along 一張我想品嚐的好味道的單子 ...將隨著日子而完成... :P

Breakfast 早餐:

11.16_Denny's (LA)

11.26_La Chatelaine

11.25_Panera Bread

Lunch/Dinner 午餐/晚餐:

12.14_Buca di Beppo

11.18_Cheesecake Factory

11.25_Chipotle

12.4, 12.19_Haiku
11.17_In-N-Out Burger (LA)

11.29_North Star Cafe

12.12_Olive Garden

11.23_Red Robin

11.17_Seoul Garden (LA)

Dessert 甜點:

11.18_Cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory

11.29_Chocolate fudge cookie from North Star Cafe

12.12_Graeter's Ice Cream
11.25_Jeni's Ice Cream
12.8_Junior's Cheesecake (NYC)
12.6_Cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery (NYC)

12.14_Tiramisu from Buca

Home-cooking 家常菜:

11.20, 11.24, 11.25, 12.13_Hot pot (and more hot pot!)

11.21, 11.26... ... ..._Mom's soup, especially...

11.18, 12.12, 12.25, 12.26_The many 媽媽們 and 阿姨們's many dishes (potluck!)

Others 其他：

11.24_Cereal (misc.)

11.28, 11.29_Muffins (misc.)

11.26_Odwalla health drinks (or the likes)

Hopefully, with some discipline in exercise as well, I will re-gain mass, not flab! :) ;) :) Friends, you can start picking your treats :P :P :P 14 more days... 希望配合一下運動上的紀律，我可以重得體量，而不是肥肉！:) ;) :) 朋友們，你可以開始選你們請客的地方了 :P :P :P 再十四天...

ps: What if I do get to go to NYC for a few days... ... ...The list would be substantially lengthened!!! And more expensive!!! :P :P :P 注：如果我能夠有幾天在紐約... ... ...這單會暴漲性加長！！！而且變得更昂貴！！！ :P :P :P

Home'11: Last moment...

2011-12-31T23:59:00.001+08:00

of 2011. At home, with parents, preparing sermon... COOL BEANS :) Decided that this year, countdown will be with the oO parentals ;) TYL!~ what a year it has been!!! TYL!~ May I learn to love You more, for You have loved me much... and still does, and will forever more...!

Home'11: CCCC Youth Winter Retreat.

2011-12-31T17:05:00.002+08:00

PASSION...

...in exuberance...

...and in quietness...

God, may You protect each and every one of Your children, these young hearts who want to love You for You.

Home'11: Just like that...

2011-12-26T01:11:00.001+08:00

...I am starting my countdown... I have 10days to steady myself for the 645am flight... out... to... ... ...o.O''' . I thought I just came back?! Let's continue the trend of "great days" of the past many days in the coming 240hrs :) TYL!~

Home'11: 今年冬天仍有點“冷”。

2011-12-25T23:00:00.001+08:00

（父子一段對話之後）
父對母：咦，妳今天沒有發言啊？
母，輕聲：嗯。
父對母：怎啦，吃了很多抗生素？
母，輕聲：沒有啊。
子，疑惑：妳在吃抗生素？
母，輕聲：因為沒有發“炎”啊。
子，愣。

Home'11: 12.25.2011

2011-12-25T00:01:00.003+08:00

MERRY

CHRISTMAS!!!

no whiteness...

STILL MERRY

* * * * * * *

TYL!~

the oO's in NYC. 12.8.2011.

Home'11: Home Sown 自家織造。

2011-12-24T18:30:00.001+08:00

子：昨天看見 D&G 的××，有種想買的衝動。才20usd。平時要賣65。
父：你拿布來，我幫你車。
子：人家可是 D&G！
父：它是 D&G，我是 OCG！
子：哇哈哈哈。

OCG 是父名的縮寫 (initials)... nice.

There are these stories...

2011-12-22T12:00:00.002+08:00

that make one reconsider what one is doing with a life gifted... are we inspiring others, or simply... wasting ours away... particularly when we have been given the better...

story oo1

story oo2

story oo3

story oo4

story oo5

while sAMo.O cannot verify the truthfulness of these stories, before we potentially barracade our hearts with questions, let's capture the spirit of the moments... ... ... and why are we "surprised" anyway? Are not people gifted by God in their ways, are not people God's creation...? Are we not tasked to discover the instruments in others, in us? Are we "surprised" because we have first despised/ look down on others, on ourselves? Tossing out the coal that should be a diamond, as hard as it may take; difficulty is not justification to "toss out."

LHM!~ on us who look to the outward appearance. May we be as God, who looks to the heart cf. 1 Sam 16: 7.

ps: one judge said, "regardless of his hard life, he passionately runs toward what he wants and even talented ones rarely have that passion." Consider: Phil 3:12-4:1.

Home'11: A Dreamy Moment Together 一個夢幻的時刻。

2011-12-21T16:44:00.000+08:00

乾爹 Sammy & 乾女兒 Melly
moment captured by the father. 真父捕捉了此刻。12.12.2012

Home'11: NORMANAI PHOTOGRAPHY.

2011-12-21T16:22:00.005+08:00

Shot taken: 12.18.2011... at the temp. studio in the Chen's basement.
I can understand why I was not led down this path of mo-del-ling :P

The rising star who is making waves on the WWW.

Be sure to visit: NORMANAI PHOTOGRAPHY and the "portfolio" for more captivating visuals through the eyes of n.Ai, lens of Nikon and filters of Adobe LR :P

Thank you, sir, it's been a pleasure and an honor. Will we still do the outdoor, less "stylish," shots?! :P

The humble beginning...
moment captured by mama o.O

Home'11: Cheena +

2011-12-20T23:59:00.005+08:00

n.Ai: 我要去廁所。
sAMo.O: 洗手間 is more gentlemanly. 洗手間 is like saying, "Washroom." 廁所 is like saying, "Toilet."
n.Ai: 廁所間。
sAMo.O: It's 廁所.
n.AI: 廁所間。 I am continuing with my bad chinese philosophy.
sAMo.O: But I am not a girl, so you don't have to be attractive around me.
n.Ai: I treat everyone as the same... ...Wait. That doesn't work. Anyway.
sAMo.O: wahahaha...
...
...
sAMo.O: Do you what is the hardest to crack in human brokenness?
n.Ai: Self confidence.
sAMo.O: No, denial.
n.Ai: Self confidence.
...
...
n.Ai: Self-confidence inspires greatness. ...Are you recording this line down? It's not even a great quote.
...
Well, n.Ai. It is. Simply because you said it, kinda.

Home'11: A First.

2011-12-19T17:59:00.000+08:00

80dola A&F shirts going for 12... do I not get them??? Well. I succumbed and purchased 2 :P Must be the intoxicating smell and sound o.O''' Neh, it's just my own desire. anyway. Merry Christmas...?! ahaha :)

Home'11: To Be Remembered.

2011-12-18T23:59:00.002+08:00

What a great day! Just all around fabulous... and a great night to cap off a great day! For sure, modelling is both tiring and not my cup of tea... ... ... not yet :P

and no, I am not teasing you, n.Ai :P

Home'11: Grand Slam. 大滿貫。

2011-12-14T22:10:00.006+08:00

11.21..._Shadowing: CCCC-Rev. Stephen o.O
12.4_Preaching: CCCC-English
12.11_Preaching: CCMC-Combined
12.11_Teaching: CCMC-English combined
12.16_Singing: CCCC-Christmas concert
12.18_Preaching: CCCC-Cantonese
12.18_Pianoing: CCCC-Chinese
12.18_Singing: CCCC-Chinese
12.23_Pianoing: CCCC-MSF
12.24_Pianoing: CCCC-Christmas Eve service
12.25_Pianoing: CCCC-Chinese
12.25_Preaching: CCCC-Children
12.28-31_Camping: CCCC-Youth winter retreat
12.29-30_Teaching: CCCC-Youth winter retreat
1.1_Preaching: CCCC-Chinese

Slammed by a grand slam. Surely when I got on the flight heading to Cbus, I was not expecting THIS LIST :P *and I already had a list of to-do's prior to this list* Is it resting me, or taxing me, or resting while taxing, or taxing while resting...? *I am not even looking to what is awaiting me come 1.6 and beyond... ... ... orz orz orz* It is a little "sad" in some way when people don't quite ask, "How was your past 17weeks of studies? Do you need rest?" and instead it seems like my return for a vacation is so that I could pick up service tabs so that OTHERS could take a vaca o.O''' "Oh, now that you are back, and on vaca = nothing to do but rest, you can do this and do that... ... ..." Nonetheless. TYL!~ for opportunities to serve. May I be found faithful in all of these... ... ...

Perhaps the ultimate definition of a vacation is a rest in Him, experiencing His presence in all walks of life... ... ... .

*I would need to work in hang out time and pack up time in the mean time... ... ... hohoho~ I have three.5 weeks left... WHAT!~ T.T*

Home'11: Bad Cheena.

2011-12-13T23:59:00.002+08:00

n.AI: 兩個。
sAMo.O: 兩張（照片）。
n.AI: 兩個。
f.YU: 你這樣怎麼學好中文？
sAMo.O: 他已經知道錯了。刻意不改的。
n.AI: 這樣比較可愛啊！～ ...really, girls like it better this way!
sAMo.O: wahahahaha~
f.YU: 哇哈哈哈哈～

Home'11: Toy.

2011-12-12T23:55:00.009+08:00

sAMo.O bought himself a new "toy" today. TYL!~ for the ability make the purchase. May I use it well, and may it be well-used. And yay, for a little godfather-goddaughter bonding time this afternoon... in the mall ...in H&M :PTL!~ she is a lover of shoes, of all kinds :) :) :) like the godfather, haha...

Home'11: Welcome Back.

2011-12-09T17:01:00.000+08:00

SNOW!!!

Home'11: 三思三四。

2011-12-03T00:01:00.002+08:00

關係親密，神為根基

愛情長跑，不住祈禱

恩愛夫妻，同侍上帝

見證美好，只因神好

恭賀，您們之間的婚約第三十四章，完筆。
願神繼續施恩看護，煉淨您們，帶您們登他的聖山。

Turning White. 變白。

2011-12-02T14:42:00.003+08:00

The campaign has been put to a halt, because 1. people thought the cans contained diet Coke and 2. people felt that the drink tasted different. My immediate response: URRGGGHHHH! How can people be this stupid?! (And I am in for hell fire for saying this, double URRGGGHHHH!). Diet Coke has "Diet Coke" spelled on the can, people! And the new can is white, with polar bears on them! Not silver! And the drink tastes differently because... the can is now a different design on the outside of the same aluminum can?!?!?! Total psycho! o.O''' Then I remembered: Oh right, I am back in the country that needs the words "Caution! It is hot" printed on the coffee mug to tell people that fresh brewed coffee is hot. And literacy rate ain't exactly topping the chart.

Clearly, I felt very frustrated after hearing the news. URRGGGHHHH!

Since I was planning on getting these white cans for keep sake, and since Coke has stopped production on these cans, I went out today to get them. Just in case. Yup. Kia-su. Does that mean their effort to contribute to saving the polar bears is being cut too?! o.O BUT what if this is all a conspiracy to make people like me who 1. would love to see the polar bears saved and 2. would want to collect a coolly-designed drink can pay up!??!!??!

sto.Opid. This is a difficult (American) world to live in... ... ... .

Home'11: BlackThursday.黑色星期四。

2011-12-01T20:00:00.000+08:00

Mom's herbal chicken noodle soup is back! 媽媽的藥材雞湯面再次登場！

Home'11: Paperwork. 文件。

2011-12-01T16:50:00.001+08:00

Want or Need?
Regardless, I hope I would receive what I prepaid for others! :P
需要還是慾望？
不論如何，希望我會收回所代人預先支出的！：P

Resist or Succumb?
They are all united in one voice: Cheap! Buy!
抵擋還是順勢？
他們同聲：便宜！買！

Mom: The intern is busy shopping on behalf of people!
余媽媽：實習生忙著在幫人家購物！

And it's true o.O''' With the missions given by various, I've been on the look-out since 11.15. A good chunk of time since coming back had been spent in the malls o.O''' And somehow, I am quite sick of shopping. Who would have known! Maybe because I want to do something else with my time this time round... ... ... Or maybe, it is because I do not want to be stuck in the battle of "to buy or not to buy," much less to be acquainted with a desire that sees no limit, both mine and others :) 這是真的 o.O''' 隨著不同人所給的使命，我自十一月十五日就開始注目。返美後的好一段時間都花在商店裡。不知為何，我對逛街有所厭倦。誰會預料會如此啊！或許是因為這次我想要以其他的方式使用我的時間... ... ... 但或許，我不想要陷入“要買/不買”的爭戰中，更不想要與我和他人的無限慾望打交道：）

No matter what, I am already a participant of American history, because there are record sales numbers this year, and I am one of the contributors (though largely thanks to friends)! :P 不論如何，我已經參與在美國歷史裡，因為今年有破天荒的銷售指數，而我是其中的貢獻者（就算幾乎都是因友人的緣故）！：P

Home'11: Another Orange.

2011-12-01T09:00:00.002+08:00

First morning of the last month of 2011.

⁷ Answer me quickly, LORD;
   my spirit fails.
Do not hide Your face from me
   or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
⁸ Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love,
   for I have put my trust in You.
Show me the way I should go,
   for to You I entrust my life.
⁹ Rescue me from my enemies, LORD,
   for I hide myself in You.
¹⁰ Teach me to do Your will,
   for You are my God;
may Your good Spirit
   lead me on level ground.

~Psa 143:7-10 NIV.

Please Press: Repeat II. 請按：反复 II。

2011-11-30T17:34:00.002+08:00

11.2011

Too cute! Puss in Boots in real life!!! 太可愛了！現實中的靴中貓！！！So was the sis... 姐姐也是哦...

11.2008

Please Press: Repeat. 請按：反复。

2011-11-30T17:20:00.003+08:00

Which pic is from 2010? And which pic is from 2011? How much has changed? One thing though: the food... mm-mmm, still delicious! I think I am may be "addicted" to the Delta bi bim bap!!! :P I was thinking about it before I boarded the plane, and I was blessed enough to have the last one for one row this time :P TYL!~ 哪張照片是一零年拍的？哪一張照片是一一年拍的？有多大的改變呢？但確定的：食物吶...嗯-嗯，仍是好吃！我想我可能上了達美韓國菜販的隱！！！還未上機前就已經在想它了，且蒙祝福，我拿到了我們那一排的最後一個飯盒：P 感謝主！～

Home'11: A Special Day. 一個特別的一天。

2011-11-30T16:58:00.001+08:00

Last Saturday, just before I stepped out of the house, mom asked, "Why don't you wear your new jacket? Your dad and I are wearing ours." You see, before coming back to the US, I've "made use" of the sale at Uniqlo and bought meself a fabulously light and cool down jacket, as well as two pieces for me dad and mom. And there was talk that we would one day show at church all clad in Uniqlo outerwear. But I was saving mine for a "special" occasion, as I have had done for MANY of my other more "precious" pieces of clothing since young, so I hesitated. Moreover, I had would have to change my assemble, not that I'd carefully planned it to begin with. But with winter, changing out can be a hassle :P But I did change in the end, for the thought came: Silly you, every day is a special day! You have a life to live, and you are with family. How much more special do you want it to be? Moreover, I knew mom would be happy. It is the little pleasures of life that makes her smile. And true to it, she had a big smile on her face after I changed up to the jacket. And with a delightful lunch at Le Chatelaine, followed by a refreshing walk by Antrim park, I would have to say: Yup. It was a special day indeed. For today, we celebrate the life God has given us, individually and as a family. I was just slow to see it... ... ... 上個星期六，正要踏出門口時，媽媽問我：“不如你今天也穿你的新外套吧？你老爸和我都穿我們的。” 是這樣的：在回美前，我“善加利用”在Uniqlo的特價，給自己買了件又輕又酷的羽絨外套，也幫爸媽各帶回來了一件。我們是有在說找天一起以Uniqlo的外衣亮相教堂。但我其實在保存我的外套，為了一個“特別”的場合。這是我自小就為我多件其他“寶貝”的衣服所做的保留。所以我有些躊躇。況且，我還要更換我的搭配，雖然我是沒有在先費了心思。但冬天嘛，換衣可以挺蠻麻煩的：P 但我最後還是換了，因為有這麼樣的一個思考：傻子，每天都是個特別的日子！你有生命可以活出，且與家人在一起。你還要怎樣的一種特別呢？而且，我知道老媽會歡喜。這是生命中一種會讓她微笑的微小喜樂。果真，我換上了外套後，老媽臉上展露笑容。隨著一個在Le Chatelaine的可口午餐，以及之後在Antrim公園兒的爽神漫步，我能說：的確，今天是一個特別的日子。因為今天，我們慶祝了神所給予我們個人和一家的生命。我只是先前遲鈍沒意識到... ... ...

ps: hmmm~ with this thought line, I would soon have no new clothes left to wear!!! :P :P :P 注：以這種的理念，我很快就會沒有新衣服穿了！！！：P ：P ：P

At Antrim park, by Antrim lake, pampered by God, in Uniqlo :)

Home'11: Meeting Him. 與他相會。

2011-11-30T16:25:00.000+08:00

Introducing: Samuel Chen. The one named after me, not. 隆重介紹：山姆陳。以我命名的，才怪。

Home'11: Meeting Her. 與她相會。

2011-11-30T16:20:00.001+08:00

pics taken 11.27.2011... at chen residence, cbus,oh.

照片攝於二零一一年十一月二十七日... 於陳氏豪宅，哥城，俄州。

feeding. 餵食。

Godfather meeting goddaughter. In between work and play, she finished her food, and warmed up to me. And I was warmed :) :) :) 乾爹相會乾女兒。在勞碌和玩樂間，她吃完了她的食物，也開始對我“熱”起來。而我，暖了心：）：）　：）

Home'11: Tofu. 豆腐。

2011-11-29T23:59:00.001+08:00

今晚，於北星咖啡座 (North Star cafe)...
余媽媽：我怎麼沒有吃到你老爸的豆腐？
余爸爸：豆腐通常是留給男士們吃的！
余小弟：哇哈哈哈哈哈～

解：余媽媽所說之豆腐，是指余爸爸所點之豆皮包 (Burrito) 飯裡的餡。余爸爸就順便俏皮了下下。雙關語的趣味真是無敵，遐想/瞎想無限！

多年前...
余小弟：我不吃這個。
余媽媽：蝦子很好吃啊！
...之後...
友人：師母罵你喔，說你是瞎子？
余小弟：哇哈哈哈·～我媽是說 “蝦子很好吃啊” 而不是 “瞎子，很好吃啊”

Home'11: Korean Delight +

2011-11-28T23:59:00.005+08:00

+15... Who would have thought that so much delight can be packed into a small thing like ChocoPie?! Only 2.50 for 12 here, and mom said it's ex!? o.O''' One sure thing about living in Sg for long: a distorted sense of price and value - things are just too overpriced! Oh wait, but staying here in Cbus has a similar effect: a distorted sense of price and value - things are just too under priced! :P But I am not complaining, hehe.

Check out: Starbucks, Haagen Dazs and Ben&Jerry's... 2Pints for 6usd+tax.
I can barely get anything by these brands in Sg with that price... ... ...

Home'11: A "Relax" Morning.

2011-11-25T23:59:00.004+08:00

(a rude awakening over the phone)
n.Ai: OH~ MY GOSH, Samuel! It's 7 a.m.!! (time we could have arrived at the outlet...)
sAMo.O: It's okay. Relax. I just wanted to make sure you are not dead.
n.Ai: I'm gonna take a shower now and I will be right there!!!

(at Panera)
server: I am so sorry! I totally forgot about your order after I helped your friend!!
sAMo.O: It's okay. No prob. Relax.
n.Ai: So, what was it, whole meal bagel? Toasted?

It's one of those mornings that I can smile about :)

Also...
(while shopping for his god-son Samuel)
n.Ai: I can get him this and we can match! Oh no, I am going to be one of those parents!
sAMo.O: Wahaha!~

Home'11: Battlefield. 戰場。

2011-11-25T23:58:00.000+08:00

It was just a blur.

Lots and lots of swipe-and-sign.

1% for me.

Eyes drained of their strength.

Rejoice! Wishes may be for realz.

I now have strong arms.

Battlefield plastic.

To be handed over soon.

Floor space still vacant.

Why is there no end?

There is always something sweet.

Are Need and Want pals?

重溫•重瘟

2011-11-22T12:20:00.003+08:00

(山姆余 9.8.2011 筆。文章刊登於新神文刊【同路人】十一月版。許多許多年後再次以中文題字。在禱告中，神以一個回憶開始，並經他奇妙引導，在兩天內的數鐘頭後完成。“哇！我的頭腦裡竟還存有這些字句啊？”山姆余倍感詫異，並感恩。現與大家分享。願我們繼續紀念擺上心要事奉神的每一個人。）

重溫在新神的日子，從學生到學生會到學生會主席，一年又一年，看似平步青雲、節節高升。但若非有了上帝爸爸奇妙的恩典眷佑、賜福，否則小弟難過當中隱藏著的重重危機。一個不小心，一句輕聲的讚美，可以讓小弟自喜自滿；一句重聲的批評，可以讓小弟自憐自縊。或是驕傲狂妄，或是低潮消極，都在轉角，隨機肆虐。委任於領袖的位置，在權與情之間的拿捏，或是對校方、友方，或是對同工、同學，皆吃力不討好。本人尚不愛台上焦點，現要面對眾人眼目、要求，遊走在無謂且莫名的優越感、成就感、低落感或壓迫感間，是靈命改造中的又一重征戰、功課。樹大真的招風，謙恭敬拜不易，但感謝上帝，他力上加力，並聖靈的慰藉，讓小弟最終安臥在主耶穌的懷中。其實，不管什麼身份、職責，小弟最終不過是另一個與眾聖徒同奔天路的人，都同是神家裡的寶貝兒女。重溫在新神的日子，放下的是“大哥”名堂，躍進的是“弟兄山姆余”和新神家人朝夕相處下，在眾正反兩面的見證中所領會的諸多學習、警惕。

在新神的日子，小弟深刻的看到了、體會了神國度裡君尊的祭司，在諸般的掙扎挑戰中，仍能展現出成熟生命的深度、廣度。郵箱中，偶爾的一張小小字條，暖了疲累的心靈；一條小小巧克力，樂了消沉的面容。球場上受傷的，友人攙扶；財務上頓缺的，友人支助。好多是同哀哭的人哀哭，同喜樂的人喜樂。有的自願充當保姆，好讓年輕的爸爸媽媽能片刻安寧，重燃浪漫火花。有的展現絕佳廚藝，好讓同鄉口嚼家的味道，讓異國之友品嚐他國佳餚。有隨手幫忙丟垃圾的，有順道買罐牛奶、果汁的。課業忙碌之餘，仍不厭其煩地委身並使用才能於大小事奉的更有一籮筐。校園裡走一回，時不時會聽見即興響起的讚美聲、談笑聲。而飯桌旁、大陽傘下、教室中、綠洲里，更少不了定時的團契交流、分享代禱。看到來自各國各方的人，不論男女老少，和樂融融，不得不贊嘆：實實在在，我們愛，因為父神先愛我們。十字架的標杆和聖靈的催促，使我們因愛而付諸愛的行動。

在新神的日子也讓小弟深刻的看見了、體會了神國度裡君尊的祭司，在委身擺上的同時，仍帶著許多的軟弱、破碎、傷痛，期待著、等待著被堅定、修復、醫治。有些帶著滿腔的改革口號，數落學校、老師、同學的種種不是，卻忽視了自己更必要經歷的蛻變、突破、更新。有些對神學娓娓道來，在教義上振振有詞，但生活中體現的自己卻是一跛一拐，雷聲大、雨點小。有些以投機取巧來響應創意思考者的宣召；有些則在流言蜚語上成為有效的傳遞者。群體中，有借沒還、有挑剔沒貢獻、有請求沒道謝、有冒犯沒歉意等表現也算得上是司空見慣。房間的凌亂和生活規律的混亂更不在話下。雖然讓人滿肚子火焰的人情事物層出不窮（小弟也是貢獻者之一！），但在發飆以先，更需考量的緊要問題是：驅動聖徒種種黑暗面的，是多少不為人知的軟弱、破碎、傷痛，期待著、等待著被堅定、修復、醫治？我們看到了裂痕、聽到了呻吟了嗎？而身處一個屬神的群體的我們，對我們弟兄姐妹的軟弱、破碎及傷痛所能付出的愛心、憐憫、體恤，又有多少呢？又能否持之以恆呢？我們又是多少孤獨靈魂真正的貼心夥伴呢？

同時，我們每人雖有種種的黑暗面，但又得掩蓋多少，既呈現出安好無恙的狀態，又藉歡聲笑語頻頻迴避、隱藏自己的醜陋？我們又投入了多少心力，不斷審思自己有否效仿我主耶穌、體現他的榮美、散發他的馨香呢？短短的幾年間，幾位家中成員的跌倒叫我們心碎、苦惱。我們既認彼此為同路人，是神家中成員的守望者，又怎會對彼此不聞不問？為了少些尷尬，就少了勸誡？但如果我們都是不完全的人，談說不完全的話，我們對彼此的糾正勸勉算是五十步笑百步嗎？還是是五十步帶著誠摯及愛心，伸出援手、發出請求，好叫百步的也能昂首挺胸、邁開步伐？面對著紀律的要求，我們稱之為律法主義、幼稚園作法，還是我們未解是自己冥頑不靈，是條規反映出了自己的頑抗、隨意？記得院長曾感嘆：“什麼時候勸人‘行好’成為了一種‘惡行’？”我們不得不捫心自問：自己有真愛的表現是好，但對他人向自己所說真愛的誠實話，我們的反彈、辯護、理論，要到幾時呢？

小弟在此以一個親身的體會作為勉勵。數年前初次登上米蘭大教堂頂端，因著映入眼簾的建築架構大感詫異。教堂的屋頂雖然不在在地面上的人們的視線中，但塔頂、柱子、圍欄等的設計依舊精緻細膩。我那時還是個建築系的學生，能夠親身站立在奪目的彩繪玻璃前和高聳莊嚴的教堂內部就已經血脈沸騰了。但見到屋頂上那費時費勁鑿出的石鳥、石花等雕塑，更叫我目瞪口呆。感動不已的心想著，“真的嗎？真不可思議！果然是全心全意雕琢，毫厘分寸不放過！而且，也只有給神看的。”一間哥德式教堂的屹立，靠的是一個敬畏神的群體，經歷幾百年的血汗，一磚一瓦建立起的。不單是益人，更為榮神，因木匠、石匠和其他工人所付出的，就連最微小、看似微不足道的細節都做得完善，為了美善的神和他榮耀的見證。

我們奔跑天路，也當如此。不單是外在人所能見的要光彩絢麗，而內在神所鑑查的更是要精雕細琢。一生的果效，實在是由心發出。我們身為領導者的，若是生命一團糟，又要如何以生命影響生命呢？我們的天路，此時此刻是路經新神，一間蒙神眷護、由前人六十年來的血汗一點一滴建立起來的學府，好訓練建立教會、奮得萬民、屬耶穌基督的忠心僕人。我們又能如何參與新神建設，同時更深地被塑造呢？我們在急於增進我們神學知識的同時，更是要積極的打造我們的屬靈生命。最終，我們的事奉不是靠著行行字義、科科優等，乃是從精義和生命的結合自然流露。我們的生命，不是“日常/服侍”或“個人/教會”等二元分法，而是全方位的一體結合。我們既宣稱是蒙神的恩召來到新神學習，就當為著主的名，坦然且安份在這個群體中，齊心合力整頓我們生命的各層次，從小事開始著手，放棄小聰明、小頑逆，好一同以心靈與誠實來花時間、花精力建造神的國度、神的子民。好的事要做對，對的事要做好。但願我們這群同路人殷勤使自己沒有玷污，無可指摘，並在我們救主耶穌基督的恩典和知識上有長進、有豐盛（彼後3：14，18合成版）。今日的重溫、反思、懺悔、整頓，是免成為神家中日後的重瘟。

願榮耀歸給他，從今直到永遠。阿們！

（代禱：感謝神，經歷了他三十一年的帶領，其中恩典之豐盛見證上帝爸爸的愛和小弟的不配。就同小弟一起祈求能繼續紀念神的恩典，並繼續謙卑仰賴他，有毅力奔跑剩餘的天路，喜樂事奉、恭敬生活，有神的同在。不單是為畢業後的下一步祈求，更是在生命的步伐中輕聲說，“請說，僕人敬聽！”）

Home'11: Family Trip To...

2011-11-21T12:59:00.000+08:00

NYC!!! HELLO, BIG APPLE!!! SEE YOU So.ON!!! :) :) :)

Home'11: Shadow.

2011-11-21T09:33:00.001+08:00

+8... Day 1 of "work" - becoming my dad's shadow. And there will be plenty of other "work" in the days ahead. No "slacking" this time round :P Back to work-life balance...?

Home'11: Hot, hot, hot.

2011-11-20T23:59:00.002+08:00

+7... Mega Hotpot party, but more importantly, relived a communal life that is of such rarity in busy, busy Singapore. We congregate to congregate more here - a Sunday that ends at 11pm, where an a.s.a.p. dispersion has been the way of living on the island nation... hmmm~ I quite miss the 11pm Sundays. And strangely, we used to have 11pm Sundays no matter how busy we were with school or work... So what's up?

Home'11: 哭死啦！

2011-11-19T11:11:00.002+08:00

Just watched Marley & Me. T.T T.T T.T T.T T.T T.T T.T Saying goodbye without hope of ever seeing each other again, except along the memory lane is ROUGH! Enough said. 問世間，情為何物，叫人以淚洗臉？！Great. More swell to sleep-deprived eyes :P

Home'11: Same Name But.

2011-11-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

It's official. At least for this season, H&M Irvine, CA and Orange, CA and Cbus, OH are WAY MORE exciting (style, price) than the much hyped H&M Sg. What about H&M NYC :P :P :P So. Even H&M can't make shopping in Sg exciting... o.O''' Guess the number of malls per square feet does not guarantee quality :P Not all H&M's are made the same. Or am I just biased... ... ...?

Home'11: Hmmm.

2011-11-18T07:00:00.000+08:00

+5... Very surreal. Am I in a dream? One thing is for real: BBRRR~ it's cold!!! And I'm loving it! Now my mind just has to catch up to the fact that... I AM HOME. blink blink.

Home'11: Conversations. 對話。

2011-11-17T13:33:00.004+08:00

(while shopping in Forever 21)
CP: I really need to learn to layer right now!
sAMo.O: WAHAHAHA~ Wow. 10years down. Never thought I would hear such from you!

(while dining in 大肚魚)
PCS: 怎麼會切成這麼小塊？！
CP: 用刀切啊！
sAMo.O: WAHAHAHA~
PCS: WAHAHAHA~
sAMo.O: Dude, it's "Why" and not "How"!
CP: Oh. I was wondering why she would ask a question with an obvious answer :P
...
...
...
PCS: 你明天還要吃這個沙拉啊？它不會變(soggy)...
CP: 我不挑啊～
sAMo.O: o.O'''
PCS: 為什麼好像他一直頂我的話 :P
sAMo.O: You realized you were being passive-agressive in what you said? You are basically saying that she is picky by saying that you are not.
CP: Oh, that's right :P
sAMo.O: WAHAHAHA~
PCS: WAHAHAHA~
CP: WAHAHAHA~

And it hit me while supper-ing with these two friends: I AM ON VACATION!!! :D 在與兩良友吃宵夜時，突然，我開竅了：我放假啦！！！ :D

Too Romantic. 浪漫到爆。

2011-11-16T15:00:00.006+08:00


Awww~ Now at last I see the light... ... ...

Simply beautiful 美極了. *and it's stuck in my head, both song and image 歌和影像卡死在我腦中. Awww~ :P* If only 倘若... ... ...the lanterns could really do that 燈籠真的能如此飄! ;)

Home'11: Embrace.

2011-11-15T07:00:00.005+08:00

+2... mmm~ it just feels so good to be wrapped up in soft, warm fabric when there is a slight chill in the air :P Oh yes. The body lotion (:

Home'11: Adding on the Pounds.

2011-11-15T07:00:00.001+08:00

+1... Arrived. Ate. Slept. Ate. Slept. So passed day 1. Sounds good :) PTL!~ for rest, nourishment and re-connections.

Home'11: Clearance!

2011-11-14T10:00:00.001+08:00

TYL!~ finally after 10years, I need not go through a second interview upon arrival and special registration upon departure. Many changes can happen in a year. Apparently, this change is "old," even when the system was still in place last year when I came back to the States. Wow. It's been a year... ... ... .

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2011-11-14T05:09:00.001+08:00

0... Another journey, to begin, accompanied. Always, the cleansing of the heart and the renewal of the mind - toward all rightly oriented actions, for holiness-purity, in JC-hope.

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2011-11-13T02:27:00.000+08:00

1... Stunned. By the sound, by the techniques. GTG!~ for the gift of music. And the humility of Your musician-servants. And really, the quarrel over the place of drums in the church suddenly seem so petty and lame o.O''' Almost there... ... ... :) :) :)

A Thank-you.

2011-11-12T11:29:00.002+08:00

(the thanksgiving shared on 11.2.2011 evening chapel - a look back to this sem. 於十一月二日晚會分享的感恩 - 對這學期的回顧)

I thank the Lord for the many trying times that examined the authenticity and depth of my faith and made me stare at my still ugly sides straight in the eye, and in the process drew out the toxins in me and drew me closer to God, through repentance and praise in Christ.

我為我許多滿俱挑戰的時刻感謝主，這些時刻審核我信仰的真實度和深度，及讓我必須坦然面對我仍醜陋的一面，並在過程中，藉悔改和讚美，在基督裡，幫我排除體內的“毒素”和助我與神更親近。

2... It still holds, on the first day post end-of-sem :) 在學期結束後的第一天，仍就真實：）

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2011-11-10T23:33:00.001+08:00

4... Another semester, DONE! DONE!! DONE!!! Last assignment, sent. I can now happily pack and happily, ermm, prep the sermon for this Sunday... then it's... a seemingly happening (= busy) winter break :) :) :)

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2011-11-07T23:00:00.001+08:00

7... way to start the countdown with a bomb!

On keeping bros...

2011-11-05T23:59:00.003+08:00

... ... ..."Men’s Health: When we meet Harold and Kumar in the new film, they’ve experienced what a lot of men in their late 20s and 30s do: They’ve fallen out and haven’t kept in touch over time. That’s what happens, isn’t it?
John Cho: Yeah, distance happens as men get older. Sometimes you have to work to keep those friendships alive. You get older, you have a job and a family, and however much you love your buddies, if you don’t work at those relationships like you would with any relationship, they fall apart. At the end of the day, I think that’s what the Harold and Kumar movies are about: love between two guys and how to upkeep those relationships. Man, I sound lame. *highlight is by the magazine*

Men’s Health: No reason to stop now. How do you keep those bromances alive and well?
John Cho: You should start thinking of your dude friends as women and think about how you’d keep your relationship with that special lady fresh. It’s the little things, man. When something good happens to your pal, always remember to call and say congrats. If they’re going through a tough patch, take the time to have a beer and listen to what they have to say. Never assume things are good. Check in. Communicate. Listen to what they’re saying. Oh my God. Did I just say all that stuff? (Laughs) Can you shoot me through a phone? Is that possible? *sAMo.O's highlight*"... ... ...

:) nice. Clearly, he's stuck in the tension between the old and new masculinity...

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2011-11-05T22:30:00.001+08:00

I'm too full in the stomach to move - what awesome indo-thai-sino food! BUT the mind-heart is too full of sighz to stop buzzing - what sickening wounds to the souls! TYL!~ for the love and candidness shown to me through Your children. LHM!~ Where does the healing begin?! How can it?! Do we refuse recovery?!?!

就少了那麼一個動詞。

2011-11-02T23:59:00.001+08:00

現場對話 - 傍晚廚房執勤
山姆魚：咦，你也是垃圾啊？
友人：對啊。你也是？
山姆魚：我也是。：）
友人： 哈哈哈～

正確說法
山姆魚：咦，你也是倒垃圾的啊？
友人：對啊。你也是？
山姆魚：我也是。：）
友人： 哈哈哈～

Missing Tokyo.

2011-10-31T10:28:00.000+08:00

Hmmm~ I've been to 9 of the top 10 fashion capitals of the world, 'cept for Tokyo, and have at least one fashion item from all but HK. Does that help make me ...fashionable, or a fashion victim o.O?! Nonetheless, I must say: Wow, God, You've brought me to places!!! TYL!~

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2011-10-29T14:30:00.000+08:00

This week felt like a rolling back of the years - back to the jc days - so much school work, so much sports, so much love :) Supper with the M&M pair after vball, a two-day global leadership summit with the Gang, jogging-footballing-basketballing-pingponging-badmintoning yesterday alone, and some readings thrown into the mix... TYL!~ Help me to learn to live life in Life.

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2011-10-25T17:57:00.006+08:00

再次平安度過“笑”週 >>> 七天，八樣不同的重任逐一完成。謝謝上帝爸爸恩待。clap clap clap... 可以暫且呼吸。嘻～剛睡了個好覺。爽。呼吸間，已經可以聞到假期的芬芳 :P :P :P

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2011-10-25T01:51:00.000+08:00

睡個覺，醒來後幾小時，“笑”即可還原，變為笑 = ：）無論如何，也就這樣走來，其中，實實在在上帝爸爸在引領、幫助著。“笑”中有笑，理當感謝神：）：）：）“笑”時，沒有失去笑，贊噢！～

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2011-10-18T01:08:00.003+08:00

接下來的一個星期，又要“笑”了！o.O''' 此“笑”乃福建話之“瘋”也 o.O'''

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2011-10-14T21:00:00.002+08:00

One more month :)

Growth.

2011-10-12T23:59:00.006+08:00

Last night. I grew up, a little bit. I opted to sleep at 1030pm, rather than to push my tiring body through another few more hours so that I could finish a reading assignment. I forgo the academic points for sanity of mind, and health of body. I simply wrote on my reading log to be submitted, "I am out of steam for this juggernaut reading. Maybe next time..."

A Christian student is often stuck in this tension between the stewardship of a student and the stewardship of the body. And I am learning to pick the latter more and more. Really, without the body, there is no student. :P :P :P And in light of eternity, I am not sure how much worth the readings really count toward!!! hahaha :) And I am now putting in my journal the time I sleep every night, as a form of accountability.

This is yet another change added, having started the practice of "intentional break" amidst the crazy schedule i.e., "I am not doing any school work today." It is another kind of Sabbath, to find the other beauties that Father God has also given to me in my life, as a student. To appreciate Life more wholly, and thus have greater gratitude toward the Life Giver.

And guess what, the Bible is right, yet again. Duh, it's always been there. It is us, in our busyness, and insecurity that drives us to do everything and anything (in the guise of the very insidious perfectionism), who have missed the point. Really, we must reconsider what it means to say, "It is finished."

TYL!~ for the well-restedness. It is truly, amazing. Shalom.

From ? To !

2011-10-08T13:11:00.001+08:00

Last night, after a stunning concert, a friend fell by the roadside and rolled her ankle quite badly. Just as I thought in my mind, Why would this happen, Lord? perhaps even insinuating that Father God caused it (I am sorry, God, please forgive me!), I was shown a different picture:
His provisions during this time of (personal, physical) pain!... namely,
1) She was not alone i.e., she was with a band of brothers and sisters who could help her immediately
2) One of the sisters have flat-soled shoes that this sister could fit into (size match! Cinderella story?! :P), so that she need not limp in her heeled-shoes
3) The fall happened right next to the taxi stand, so that she need not limp far to get back home (campus)
4) The fall happened right in front of a cafe, so that she could have a bag of ice given kindly to her from the cafe attendant to ease the swell on the ankle.

This just goes back to 1) i.e., This friend was not alone. God was there providing, God's family was there supporting. So it is really 1)++ All in all, love was all around. Perhaps then, when there is love, when a person knows that God and His people are there, pain is eased, though not erased. I am sure God could have prevented it, but I am sure that God has better intentions in mind, intentions for us to discover beyond our personal preferences for good and bad. From the fall, I saw the beauty of a redeemed, sanctified fallen community. PTL!~ TYL!~ PTL!~

Now, Lord, may we all be encouraged, and Your healing touch come upon this sister! Give her physical strength, now that You've granted her spiritual strength! Amen.

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2011-10-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

We need to set boundaries on our expectations on others, and we need to set our boundaries in responding to the expectation from others.

Well, well, well...

2011-10-06T23:59:00.002+08:00

In the ideal, we should mean well and do/say well. But sometimes, we mean well, but what we do/say in the end is not so well. Sometimes, we do not mean well, but what we do/say in the end is well. And which of the not-so-ideal mean-do/say connection would you rather have? Another very-"huh?" operation of life. Nonetheless, recognition of both on our part and on others are much needed when seeking forgiveness and giving forgiveness.

And really, it is not enough to rest at "I am sorry," stopping short on asking for forgiveness, and perhaps even expecting forgiveness to be given because "I am sorry" was said. Forgiveness requires a complete let down of one's pride, and to pro-actively ask for forgiveness is to do away with whatever little pride we need to hold to, in the pursuit of something right, something... holy. Pro-actively asking for forgiveness is the constituent of reconciliation, and reconciliation between people draws its parallel from the reconciliation of sinners to God i.e., through repentance, in Christ. Once we know that "Please forgive me" IS the holy, righteous thing to do, perhaps we can mean well in wanting to repent, and do well and say well with "I am sorry. Please forgive me."

And today, I am just thankful that there was such an opportunity to seek forgiveness and to give forgiveness with a dear pal. PTL!~

ps: Does all "IAS" come with a "PFM?" I am not sure. But maybe being late for 5min will require the IAM-PFM chain?! But what of "Do you have 5cents?""No, I don't. Sorry" or "Do you have time?""No, I don't. Sorry?" haha. Wisdom and discernment, lest we fall into dogma. LHM!~

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2011-10-04T23:59:00.002+08:00

Wow. And it's done - 9 papers and a sermon, in 3.5weeks - at 527pm today. TYL!~ PTL!~ TYL!~ Again, You have provided much grace to Your child, to climb what seemed an impossibly steep climb. TYL!~ for giving me peace, and even joy, in keeping to Your pace, and not trying to outpace Your timing with my own desire to get ahead. TY:!~ for rounding of this day with a good praise worship practice, and some cool vballing :) There is more work ahead, may I stick the course for the coming 5weeks. PTL!~ for He is good.

It's Mine. It's not Mine.

2011-10-01T17:09:00.001+08:00

When asked, "Can you please clean your room?" the person answered, "It's my room. I decide when to clean it, and how clean it will be."

When asked, "Can you please take care of your room?" the person answered, "It's not my room. I am only here to stay temporarily."

@.@''' So, is it "Mine" or "Not Mine?" Well, simple. The answer is: It depends. Whatever works for my "way out" of responsibility will be the answer. But again, when did (temporal) ownership become an accepted justification for a lack of care? I've seen this school get trashed for the past 2.25years, and it is still on-going. But if this campus belongs to God, really, what say do we have actually in the case of "Mine" vs. "Not Mine?"

Just own up to it: I am lazy, ill-disciplined and self-obsessed. Then we have something to work with, a starting point. But I am glad such is not the majority group, though the effect of yeast is not lost o.O''' LHM!~

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2011-10-01T16:22:00.000+08:00

Thank you, Father, for helping me overcome the humongous inertia. Now that that paper is done, it's time to rest a bit, and the third in three days hopefully will begin @.@'''

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2011-09-30T23:01:00.000+08:00

AIZ. Why am I ssooo unmotivated to do anything for this ONE class? But the homework keeps coming, weekly... ... ...so do I must. Is it terrible that I'm just doing whatever's "enough" to get by?! The first, in all the courses taken in SBC... ... ...and in it, I'm trying my best in the present circumstance o.O could be worse... AIZ.

Toxin? Nutrient?

2011-09-30T17:09:00.000+08:00

When we continue to bear a grudge, refusing to let go of the joy of unforgiveness, toxins build, and our souls are poisoned, and die. Consider the opposite: To allow a wound to heal, to welcome the joy of forgiveness, nutrients build, and our souls are nourished, and grow. The former, is the pleasure of a carnal mind, which leads to destruction. The latter, is the joy of a spiritual mind, which leads to reconciliation, reformation and renewal. The former is easier, the latter, harder... initially, and persistently, if we allow Sin to be our life-coach. However, when we are keen to partner with the Holy Spirit to be our soul-coach, bearing a grudge becomes harder, and forgiveness, with tough and rough practices, becomes easier. So then, choose: toxin, or nutrient? Somehow, on this matter, it is that black and white - in Mt, in Lk, etc - for the Bible tells me so. While living out the (obvious) choice will be packed with challenges, live we must. "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” ...Jn 13:35 NASB. And dare we forget this - we can live, because this is a life made possible because God has first forgiven us...!?

Q&A.

2011-09-30T09:03:00.002+08:00

We spoke/asked/yelled, "God, let us know who You are!"
But He already has.

We spoke/asked/yelled, "God, show us that You love us!"
But He already has.

We spoke/asked/yelled, "God, instruct us on how to live for You!"
But He already has.

Or is it that these "answers" ain't good enough for us?

If only there was less blindness in our eyes, less deafness in our ears, less stiffness in our neck, less hardness in our hearts, less amnesia in our mind... we may do well to know that He ALREADY has all answers in place for us. Our task is to discover AND remember, and make sure our act of piety/faithfulness is not misplaced.

WE/ME.

2011-09-30T08:50:00.000+08:00

This thought was recently impressed upon my heart:
Living on campus is not just about trying to get along, it is about learning to live for others. On this community, it is not just about "ME" anymore; "WE" do not revolve around the world of "ME" anymore. "I" may fit well between "H" and "J," but really, in the Christian setting, it needs to be in a togetherness with the Holy ones = saints indwell by the Spirit and Jesus Christ our Lord. To live for ourselves does little good for us, and in the process, it drags down a whole community, of which "ME" is part of. Now, that's not something to live for.

But really, this is nothing new! It has been in Scripture all along. If we would only live this out, and this out, among the many teachings.

Inverting WE to Become All About ME.

2011-09-29T14:10:00.005+08:00

When we are ministers at church, we expect the assembly to heed to what we say: what we say is justifiably "from God" and is for the good of the church. When we return back to the seminary, we expect the school to heed to what we say: what we say is justifiably "from God" and is for the good of the church.

REALLY? I mean, REALLY?!

Apparently, God only speaks to "we = me me me." We expect others to listen to us, yet we expect ourselves to be justifiably excused when we are expected to listen to others - in the name of "revolution," "change," or simply, "ai-yah~" or "I am anti-authority"? We are harsh on the assembly for not listening, but grace somehow always finds a way into our own deafness.

"Why did you let the cell phone ring while I was preaching?" on others versus "Ooops, sorry! :P" on our part.

"I have better things to say, so you should get off your email, your sms and your online chat" for others and "I have better things to do, so speak all you want, but I should get on my email, on my sms and on my online chat" for ourselves.

What's with the false dichotomy?

And yes, it's prevalent in the seminary, from in-class and chapel behavior to heeding to school rules. What royal priesthood? What holy nation? Ever wondered why the church is in a mess? It is about time we snap out of our little bubbles, IF we really, really want a revival. We are a royal priesthood, holy nation. It's about time we live up to it.

It's with a sadness of heart that all these are written. LHM!~ LHM!!~ LHM!!!~

HOME. 家。

2011-09-29T12:37:00.005+08:00

... ... ..."The earth is a miracle. Life remains a mystery. ...In the great adventure of life on earth, every species has a role to play, every species has its place. None is futile, or harmful. They all balance out. And that's where you, homo sapiens, wise human, enter the story."

Watch the 1hr33min story choreographed by Luc Besson, in French or English. (It's worth your time and attention) And yes, read Genesis 1-3 and Psalm 104 first (to check what is humanly narrated against what is divinely inspired).

Be left breathless by the images you will see, and be left speechless by the creative work of LORD GOD the ALMIGHTY, and be left prideless by the devastating work of Man. And then, as a steward of the earth, decide what to do, as the narrator pleaded. May we not be left - homeless.

"Let's face the facts. We must believe what we know. All that we have just seen is a reflection of human behavior. We have shaped the earth in our image. We have very little time to change. How can this century carry the burden of 9 billion human beings if we refuse to be called to account for everything we alone have done?"

The destruction of our physical, outward home is the evidence of our ignorance on our spiritual, eternal home, and the depravity that still festers in our internal. To Man be the sin. To God be the glory. Ultimately, to salvage earth is not to first plant a tree, but to repent, to be humbled, before God. LHM!~

fo.Otstep.

2011-09-29T01:01:00.000+08:00

Where am I to go? Where will I be this time next year? What is my "next step," Lord? How am I to be the King's vassal-vessel? But surely, I will wait upon You and Your direction. Father, help me align with Your footstep. Thank you, for holding me back when I tried to outpace You. Thank you, for teaching me to take it step by step.

Another kind...

2011-09-24T23:26:00.002+08:00

... ... ...of transformation and conversion.

SAMwise.Ooster.C.Monkey -

2011-09-24T22:39:00.001+08:00

Thank you, Lord, for a week of TWO vball sessions! Plus bball, plus football, plus a movie. What a breather week this has been. And most importantly, thank you for letting me find peace in You. Indeed, with the Sabbath, comes the desire to do more... in time (;